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EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
8:00 am- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 am- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 am- Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 am- Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
11:30 am- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
12 noon- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 pm- Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 pm- Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
5:00 pm- Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 pm- Oh Boy! Mum! My favorite!
6:00 pm- Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 pm- Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
Day 183 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat
dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by
weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try
this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile
oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must
try this on their bed.
Decapitated mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them
aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They
only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working
according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More
importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies".
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the
other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously
a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks
with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current
placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait. It is only
a matter of time.
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